im in a down mood today....just feeling so...unproductive and the feeling of leading nowhereness....:(

design:

right now kong and mitchel working on a prototype of a panel that moves in and out. the gears gota be laser cut cuz just cant find the right parts. its all fiddly and weak.......*sigh*....

i am suppose to be working on the facade and the structure....but i really duno...*sigh* im just sleepy tired and have a tummy ache.

other assignments

plumbing and drainage: have to draw out the plan of my house then put in the plumbing and drainage lines ARG!!!! y does the council not just have this?? i think i will probably just cheat and get the plumbing and drainage off a different house. will make my life so much easier.

media: even though i have been keeping up with media, it has not really been working atm. it has just been....not tha successful inspiration wise. i will probably have to spend a whole day on it MINIMUM in the holidays to get it even up to a pass

history: im going to start history in the holdiays.....thats all im saying

construction: evil construction.....shelley dislike a lot.....have to draw out details etcetcetc and i JUST CANT BE BOTHERED!

wow im a whiney rat today.......haha..haha...ha..............-.- feel so sloppy and blah.

oh yea btw chloe and nathan got engaged on sunday! yay! excitement. she got a princess ring ^^ so gorgeous! cant wait till i get engaged...haha....ive deemed it the most exciting day of my life so i better get proposed to. will be so depressed if i am single for the rest of my life......i wana man to propose to me and i wana dress up as a princess at a wedding with my prince and live happily ever after........ahhhh....that thought cheered me up ^^

xoxo

oh my sweet sweet blog. i have missed you so. long time no see and so much have happened since. lemmi generalise my live into a few main categories:

love:

last time i was on here, i was in a pathetic state having just broke up with graeme. now ive finally gotten over that and am in a pathetic state having just broken up with Hayden! now that boy is something ^^

lemmi tell you the story briefly:

met at video store in jan this year were we started flirting. he asked for my number (how sweet ^^) and we played badminton. things escalated quickly to the point of seeing me late at night and eating together often, going to his apartment every second evening (and at one point *shock horror* sleeping with him near crit week @.@...only sleeping...nothing dodgy dw) by intersemester, we went on a snowboard trip to whakapapa together with dellzy, peter and julie. was epic~! and 2 days after that.....i broke up with him.

the problem is mostly likely me and my inability to go against my parents when they oppose me that much (they hate him cuz of his background, past and family) and also my own insecurity with committing myself to extremely (as i did with graeme but hey! first love.....lol) and with accepting him along with everything that came along.

uni:

uni just gets better mark wise and worse emotional/motivational/confidence wise. i wonder why? had THE most 'successful' semester last semester with gpa of 8.5. BUT i had such emotional breakdowns over design...pathetic pathetic me.....

this semester we are doing a topic called transformers~! im in design group sound and we are basically making a sound insulated box (2x2x2) that can me opened and closed letting sound out creating space acoustically. this would be controlled by a person so its interactive.

we'll see how it goes. making modules for the structure tonight...lets see how that goes

religion:

IM AN UNBAPTISED PUBLISHER!!! YAY!!! did u know that or am i just repeating myself? lol im getting more motivated and reading more (partially thanks to hayden my awesome awesome ex) hoping to get baptised soon (next year??? duno)

ok gtg eat. STARVING!!! got so much to update on muahahaha...xoxoxo~!!

yay! its semester break haha long awaited break! woot!

ive decided that its a pain in the neck to upload photos here so i shall put them all up on bebo ^^

had a crit on thursday was awesome fun. i had marshmellow waiting rooms. we just had to make models and have plan/sectional drawings and some light studies.

next tueday media is due. @.@ ahh!! worth 50 percent of course!!! well...ive got most things ready just gota put it all together...i wonder how everyone else is doing it....(really wana get a good mark on this since its the first thing graded since ive been at uni)

omg WERID random guy called MY HOME and asked for me via my chiense name @.@ mum picked up and thought "wtf" i got on the phone and he said i duno him mayb forgot he use to go to my art teachers place (eh?? the only oldish guy that went there that i know of was like 2 years younger than me). well i didnt ask for his name..wasnt interested. asked why he called and he said quote "you can say no or yea or whatever but do u wana go out with me?" EH?!?!?! wtf....i said no sorry and hung up......LOL!! that name my day. TONY U DICK IS THAT U PLAYING SOME SICK JOKE ON ME?! arg....probably is....anyways lol still craked me up...said he goes go ags....really curious now...wana know his name haha

anyways...my strange happenings today. am about to go out and buy me some foliopocket thingys, massive bits (a3 a2) of plastic, and some other weird stuff. gona play pictionary at uni tomorrow for the archive and watch weird psychology movies in the arvo...about brain surgery and the like.

well ima gone....lol come on bebo! ive my pics of what ive been up to in archi so far upload"ing" haha xoxo!!!

ohh ive still been having dreams about graeme....>.< annoying me! no more sadistical ones now hes just being extraordinarily nice and lovely....grrr!!....makes me feel all weird in the mornings...other than that mum got pissed i still have a photo of us on my wall so i took it down....sad...."now theres a gap"

enough blah......more another day

new project! i need to map out something that inclueds temporal and spacial details of the CBD. the suggestions are light/shadow, birds, population density, texture, sound etcetc.......*weird*....well ive decided to map out a section at the warf and include in it the movement of tourists. ask them where they are from and where they are going etc and then map those locations out on a world map....sounds good??......lol problem...the warf is JUST outa my territory. GRR!! so...any suggestions would be appreciated!! ^^

am off now to build my marshmellow house.....oh yea....with real marshmellows....yumm..cant wait to eat my work after the pin up ^^

oh im so excited theres this foam party sometime. if its not too expensive ill definitly go. haha awww its feijoa season!!! what id give to be able to tell graeme that and bring him a bag ^^ he'd be so happy

a tout a l'heure mes enfant! lol xoxo

wow been so busy....>.< ive finished my instrumental drawing of a perspective photo that documented my interpretation of the sendai at 1:1 scale!! lol feeling so amazingly proud. gona go out shopping with my sweet dellzy for haptic materials now..well..as soon as she gets over which would be when her mother arrives home from er...duno what.

i had a dream....of graeme! last night haha!! he turned out to be a sadistical porn start artist dude who was cheating on me with this beautiful girl in a hotel which had theme park rides in every room....haha interesting....*confused*.......its getting so weird my dreams about graeme now, first him dying then getting badly beaten up then turning into weird characters....i think my brain (logical side of me?) is going through withdrawl symptoms of not having him around

i duno when id have the time to upload photos...yes ive been slack but thats life...architecture is nw my life and i dont seem to have time for much else. oh i went clubbing!! did i tell u that!?! haha it was awesome fun. this random white guy kept close and helped me fend off this crowd of indians *shiver, puke throw up* who tried to dance with me. anyways im so unfit....im sore >.< haha

heya dudes and dudettes...

life is quite hectic now...gona try make it short.

went to shadows (uni bar?) for the first time yestuday with angela and sherwin. had a smurnoff? for the first time...quite nice. it was a lil too loud but all good. saw sinisa (from purple at forum) and jia!! omg would never expect her there. this cuteish looking guy came up to me and angela and we had a chat for quite a while. surprinsingly i remembered his name, mike....reminded me of graeme that cute pakeha tryna be gangst to make me laugh

well the projects for uni goes like so. need to design a waiting room/alleyway that would make people v.v.uncomfortable or heighten their haptic experience. make a million models, photograph then and make some more.

research and read and read and read for sustainability, continue that self stalking diary AND make changes for the better of mankind! heres a few changes ive decided to try make. BE A VEGETARIAN! oh yes u heard right....lol well im gona try for 2 weeks but if thats too hard at least a week.....take short showers with minimal lighting/heating/ventilation. and a...duno what else...figure it out later

another project with that sand pit. have u heard about it? interpret the sendai mediatheque at 1:1 scale. did it in the sand. tha was all good. now have to draw the DOCUMENTATION instrumentally.....-.- confused! ahh all good ive got a few plans to trial out...should be fun.

oh on top of that ive just got 2 essay/reports to write, more reading for studio and yup.....sounds a lot better today than it did yesturday (when i got them all pilled onto me....got a lil overwhelmed).

about those pictures..............LOL...a...sorry might not happen for a while. the best visual stimuli you'd get would be a change in font colour...apologies...^^

alright everyone....after a long and hard week im finally not in deep pain over my loss of my beautiful boy, close to tears when im by myself or when a thought of him a memory pops into my head. it sucks balls ay....

but yesterday ive finally reasoned out to myself why we broke off. why it wasnt gona work. and that i really dont wana marry graeme lol believe it or not haha... sure hes a sweet loving beautiful boy...it just wasnt gona work. i cant respect him as my head, spritually and physically u know....

so last night...ritually i deleted all his txts (well........lol all except 2, one is in my *saved* msgs..i dont delete those EVER haha still have a few from TONY lol james suwan back in 4th form etc....they are memories, and one where he sent me a txt with a picture of a panda haha i thought it was cute).

tomrrow is such a special day. its a week since my break up (and i survived!! lol) and we we didnt break up it would have been our 14th month anniversay ^^ ill be thinking of you graeme even though we're now..well..reduced to nothing. i appreciate what i have had with that boy and well..would like to tell him that i still love him, miss him but understands things are the way they are for a reason. haha wana cheezy thing to say? -- "if its ment to be...itll be in the end"

i love u graeme but im getting over you too....slowly ^^ xoxo

omg uni is really really insane ay. esp. architecture!! its so weird and need an incredible amount of self-motivation.

well ive had my first project last tuesday and it was pined up for crit on friday. lol it asks u to investigate the connection between spine, right ear lobe and left little toe (or left ear lobe and right little toe.....cant remember). we made a babie figure with head and foot bound in the position of scales. had a thingy dangling from head fulla ear lobes and a thingy dangling from the food fulla little toes. she is then hung from the hip up onto a pole balanced on two panels ^^ haha wonder if anyone OTHER than architects and fine art students can find the connection.

ive another on going project which requires me to write up a diary of my life. listing every minute thing that i do. its about sustainability. pretty straight forward so...hopefully...should be all good ^^

theres another one for design this i got this monday and due next tuesday. its about "feet off the ground" where in the same team of 3 u have to lift a body (i.e another person from the class) off the groud somehow and carry them through obstacles on the domain. lol insane. WE ARE CRAWLING!!! ahh!! will post fotos dont worry...you'll understand..

got ANOTHER project today. have to make a ONE TO ONE SCALE interpretation of the sendai in japan. damnit the plan is written partly in japanese...if only ive still got graeme haha he can try interpret....^^...

am spending so much time with sherwin....its awesome like we're real close mates and stuff....but i duno....

i miss graeme..... :'( i want him back....the phone calls the txts saying i love you i miss you darling....(even tho della is still not that pleased with him calling me that haha) how long is it suppose to take....what if i never stop loving that boy....that "little white boy who cant spell but loves me to bits" in his own fukn words. damnit graeme!! damn you....why do u have to do this to me....